And talent surrounds me...

Truly talented people can always capture my attention. My full attention. Even when A.D.D. takes over my mind and squirrels are chasing dogs. It's people like you that actually have my undevided attenton. Musicians and poets - painters and philosophers.
I will never understand... never approve of... I will never respect - an artist who cannot think for themselves. A musician who can't actually nail that solo. A singer who has no voice. How can one honestly admire a celebrity who made it to the top simply for the fact that they knew someone. How can you do that when we are surrounded by true talent.

Azn.

A singer/songwriter/musician. From Illinois. He isn't famous... but he should be.

Ollie.

One of the most honest, fun, kindest people I know. He is a singer/songwriter/musician. From Illinois. He isn't famous... but I would buy his cd before I ever paid for Taylor Swift to pretend to sing.

AP

A musician with a beautiful mind. He has inspired me by merely strumming his guitar but when I found out he could play the piano... He isn't famous... But I hope one day he makes it.

These three guys all deserve far more than what they have. I know them all personally and they all live within 15 minutes of where I grew up.
If I am surrounded by this much talent (and that is only 3 of the MANY should-be's I know) Then why in the fuck can't these producers and labels find something better than the same old shit I hear every tme I turn on the radio?

(for more videos from these guys, visit Jankstafied and Alsex21's channels on Youtube.)

It's that voice in my head.

It is constantly waking me from deep sleeps and shallow dreams. The voice asks if I am happy, if I know who I am, if I believe... but I don't have the answers.
Does anybody?
On a good day, my answer is always yes. Most days aren't good, though. I, like anyone else on this earth, have my flaws, my faults, my wrongs, regrets, and reasons. Irrational and irritating. I am.
I have off days and on days, days that come prescribed with a small dose of this and a spoonful of that... always best taken with a meal or glass of milk. I have my days where I feel like a celebrity and days where I wish no one knew my name.
But the voice... it only speaks when I'm happy enough to ignore it, or when I'm too lost to hear anything else.
Just now, I was minding my own business, laying next to my sleeping boyfriend and out of nowhere... "What if time just stopped?"
Umm HELLO. What? Why are you asking me this? What do you mean?
After about 20 minutes of asking myself what that question meant, I wanted to cry.
What if time did stop? Are you happy where you are right now? If you got stuck in this moment for the rest of eternity, would you be content. Comfortable? Happy with your company? Happy with your accomplishments? Happy with your self?
In my head I'm thinking no. I'm not done living yet - I have more to look forward to.
If I died right now... who would remember me? Would I be missed?
My name comes with no medals or awards. No trophies or honors. I have wasted away most of my almost 21 years dreaming.
I am a dreamer. That is the only thing I am absolutely sure of.
The voice makes me look back on my past. Memories made and loves lost. Final goodbyes and first hellos. And every time I look back, I see the same faces. Faces that I left behind. Faces that I miss.
The conversations we had in my garage, under the stars, on instant messanger, in folded up notes, behide the bleachers. They are everywhere. And I wonder: do you think about those days too? Did they mean something to you?
The voice and I do not converse. The last real conversation I had was probably with my journal. So every time it wakes me... I'm alone. I'm left to sit and wonder because I can't sleep. Can you?